Learning to say NO

This piece was originally on my deviantart account, but since I decided to move on from dA, I wanted to give this article a new home. This article was written with the deviantart community in mind. Without further ado:

In my time on dA, I've met some wonderfully generous people. I've had the pleasure of being friends with some of these people, and it is a true joy. Over this past year though as I seen both people who are these generous artists and people who commission these said artists, I did notice something arise.

I've noticed that some artists have been asked to do multiple changes again and again on the same piece and sometimes these are large changes. Sometimes these artists can feel a little overwhelmed with the extra work they are asked to do because it is a lot of work. Sometimes these artists keep doing these changes WITHOUT additional compensation (I've seen this happen to a plush artist who had to completely re-draft patterns). Sometimes it's because they can't or don't want to say "no." I understand the desire to have a product that your commissioner is really pleased with; It's a great feeling, but sometimes we really have to consider ourselves in the picture.

Many of these generous people like to make people happy or please them. It's something I find myself doing. When asked for a favor, my first thought is to rearrange my schedule to make it more convenient for THEM. While this mentality makes for a nice community and one that supports its members, from time to time we need to remember ourselves and our needs.

This isn't only in art but in general. Sometimes I do have to be a little selfish with my time and while that guilt might follow me a little, in the end, I have to sleep, eat, and take care of my own needs.

One fictionalized example inspired my experiences:
In academia, there are instances where an adviser might ask you to stay late, to do another experiment, or come in during the weekend. While that is all good and swell and part of being a graduate student, there are times when an adviser might become preoccupied and forget you have other responsibilities and other things to do. Sometimes the people around us can get wrapped up in their own things and ask for what they might consider a reasonable request, but it might mean that you have to skip a few meals in order to have the time or have to put your classwork aside to do it. These sacrifices might be necessary once in a while, but sometimes there is that crossing of the threshold, and this one time exception becomes a normal day thing, so the sacrifices build and build. And then you're living in your office in a sleeping bag. (Yes I have slept in my office a couple times like this too)

The thing I want to emphasize is that even in being generous, saying "no" on occasion is good for your sanity. you have limits, you have wants and needs. It might help to set limits and STICK TO THEM. Sticking to them is very important. One thing that might be good is to write up a commissions policy and state when changes are allowed to be made and how many changes can be made before there is a charge per change. I know a couple of people who left dA because they couldn't say no but they couldn't take the pressure either. It's ok to say "no" and it's ok to take time for yourself. I really hope you do.

TLDR; Be generous, be flexible, but set limits and say "no" occasionally. It's alright to take time for yourself and it's alright to turn down a commission or project. If you don't feel you can do it, it's easier just not to take the project than to work on it for hours and find you really just can't do it.

<3